Letting go

It's amazing how we continually say that we're going to let go of something and let God take control but then we continue to grasp so tightly to it that God can't even get a finger on it. Why are we so scared to let go of things that in the long run, won't matter?Do we hold on in hopes that something will change or someone's mind will take a different look? Do we hold on because we're scared to let go? What is the reason?

They say "when you love something, let it go, if it comes back to you it's yours." I haven't met one person that believes that or even practices that logic! When I love something I hold on tightly. I'm constantly worried that if it's out of sight then it will not be in my mind and I'll forget. I don't want to forget. I'm so worried about losing something or missing out on something, that I fight for it and often get hurt in the process.

I wonder if there's a way to let go of things and not hurt in the process. Like when you let go of dreams, jobs and relationships(whether it's a friend or a crush). There's always this pain. One that just aches and leaves you feeling incomplete. Is there a way to avoid all that? I wish I knew...

All I know, is letting go is hard to do!

11 hours later

Yesterday I made the drive from Nashville to Winton! It is a rather long drive and it seems to take a lot of gas to do it, ha! I was on the road for about 11 hours and I learned that I don't have enough songs on my Ipod!

Driving home, I began to think about everything that's going on in my life right now and I realized that there is a lot stuff I have to figure out. I was thinking about moving arrangements, job requirements, money and just the whole change in general. It's quite overwhelming. I also had a chane to talk to God a bit about my fears and the blessings that he has given me lately. I told him how scared I was about leaving my community of friends and my office of joy. Let's just say we had a lot of time to talk and I had a lot of time to listen.

One more thing, I was sad about missing out on some Cocoa Tree action last night. Those chocolate marshmellows and all the laughes will be missed more than anyone knows! Hope you all ate a marshmellow for me:)

my quote for the day

The only things that stays the same is everything changes!

my weekend

Today I am exhausted! I went home this weekend for my brother's graduation and I had a great time. Brock is now a college graduate and he is expecting to go back to school in the May to get his MBA. I am so proud of him and all that he has achieved so far! He is going to do some great things.

I also went to my Aunt's house this weekend for my Mom's side of Christmas. Every year we all get together to eat yummy food, exchange gifts and just catch up with one another. It was awesome. My grandma gave a special gift this year to all her grandchildren...it made my aunt and brother tear up! She had my granddaddy's wedding ring melted down and turned into six gold nuggets. It was such a surprise and it was very sentimental. I am the only grandchild that got to meet this wonderful man! This gift made such a huge impact and made us all stop and give thanks!

It was a great weekend and I'm so glad I was able to make it home for all the festivities.

I am exhausted though and I'm not sure if I'm going to make it through the rest of the day=(

Driving School

So I had to attend driving school tonight so that I could get my ticket dropped without effecting my insurance! What an experience that was, haha! There was quite a variety of people in that classroom and I honestly had a pretty good time (never thought I would say that).

So, the class was 4 hours long with 1 break that only lasted 15 minutes. They didn't let you bring in food or drink in so you can imagine that all of us were extremely hungry, or at least me! My stomach pretty much grumbled the whole time!

We talked about railroad crossings, emergency vehicles and basic driving stuff. I felt like I was 15 again taking driver's ed over. At one point we had to tell everyone why we were in the class. I explained how I was speeding to pass a truck and got pulled, nothing too great! This one girl had the most fascinating story though. She apparently rear ended Kanye West in Nashville and put a large dent in his Escalade. Now that's a good reason to be in driving school...way better than my story, haha!

Stage Presence

So a couple of weeks ago Wes(my co-worker) and I went to an event down in Atlanta called Youth Specialties! I'm sure that I wrote a blog about it already, so if you already knew I went this comes as no surprise!

Anyway while we were there, we saw some amazing concerts and hung out with some amazing people. One thing we were both fascinated with was the stage set up. It was incredible...so I wanted to share it with you!

I know that it may seem dumb to be fascinated with this but I guess my job has taught me to look at things like this, haha!

What A Party

Last night Brock and Auny threw the best Christmas party. Brock cooked his famous turkey and Auny cooked some yummy food that included her famous banana pudding which is the best in the world. They are quite the lovely hosts and everyone always loves going out the their house for fun and food.

Everyone arrived between 6:30 and 7:00 with sides, desserts and one gift for the gift exchange game! It was so great to sit around and have dinner with all my friends in one room. Our table had conversations about wedding cakes, dual shower heads and olives. Strange I know, but delightful! We laughed and just carried on because some of us hadn't seen each other in forever.

After dinner we played what some call White Elephant which is a gift exchange game. There are all sorts of rules like you can only trade three times and number one gets to chose anything at the end. I got some yummy chap stick and my roomies brought home sponge things, a Christmas decoration and some coffee I think! We followed up the night with some magic by no other than the amazing Brock Gill! You should have been there!

It was fun times and we created some funny stories to tell over and over:)

Atlanta visit

I just got home from such a great weekend. Have you ever had one of those relaxing weekends that just left you refreshed and feeling like yourself again? Well that's what I just experienced!

After an amazing week with my parents I set out on Friday for A-town(Atlanta). Kim and I packed the car and headed to visit some friends for two days. It was great just to hang out with absolutely no plans and nothing to do. We played in downtown with Kyle on Saturday. I laughed so much that my stomach hurt by the end of our adventure. After our fun filled day in the city we headed back to the house for naps, dinner and late night chats. I absolutely love talking to Lindsay! There is just something so peaceful about the way she explains things and I thankful to have her in my life.

Waking up to little kids screaming and dancing to Family Force 5 while jumping over their father's legs like a hurdle, now that's a sight, ha ha! Brad is so great with his boys. He loves those two so much. Have you seem those two adorable children? I"ll try to post some pictures of them soon!

I love Atlanta visits and I hope to visit them again soon:)

Choices

Life is about choices and with the choices that we make comes consequences that aren't always the the greatest on the heart. You could decide something that makes total sense one second but seems so hard the next! Why is it that in life we are always scared of making the wrong decisions that every decision we make seems to cause regret!

Choices should be easy like "I like chocolate ice cream therefore I will get some!" Or "this makes me happy therefore I will do it!" Yes those seem easy but somewhere along our path we have learned that we should analyze every detail of every choice we make just so we can explain it to others! Explaining it to others helps us to rationalize things and often change our minds. Why is that!

If I say "I like you despite where you are" then that's how I feel and I shouldn't allow others to change that choice. We all need to learn to make choices based on God and what we need for us not for what makes sense to everyone else!

The Rockettes at Orpy

Last night my parents and I went to see the Radio City Rockettes at the Grand Ole Opry! It was absolutely amazing. The Opry was decorated so beautifully with Christmas lights and wreaths. Now, I did feel like the youngest person there but it was still a great experience!

I still can't get over how those girls dance for that long without a break. I was exhausted just watching them but that's probably because I'm not in the best shape, ha! The stage set-up was incredible. They did everything from The Nutcracker to Rock 'n Roll Santa. The recreation of the Nativity that was the best I have ever seen! It was such a powerful portrayal of Jesus' birth.

If you haven't seen this show you need to go!

God Sees All

Great is our Lord, and mighty in power; His understanding is infinite.
~Psalm 147:5

Some years ago a friend of mine was standing on top of a mountain in North Carolina. The roads in those days filled with curves, and it was very difficult to see very far ahead. This man saw two cars heading toward each other. He realized they couldn't see each other. A third car pulled up and began to pass one of the cars, although there wasn't enough space to see the other car approaching around the bend. My friend shouted out a warning, but the drivers couldn't hear, and there was a fatal crash.
This is how God looks upon us in His omniscience. He sees what has happened, what is happening and what will happen. He also sees us when we foolishly think we can get by with breaking His moral laws, or we act out of sinful pride or lust or anger. Like the man on that mountain, He shouts His warnings at us-but we are too busy or too stubborn to listen.
God sees the whole picture. He knows what is best for us and He knows what will destroy us. Don't think your way is better than His, but listen to His Word-and obey.
~Billy Graham

God knows how our lives will turn out. Every person's life is like a book! If you skip to ending you would miss out on the greatest story ever. God knows the ending but we may only be in Chapter 4. If we listen to Him, our story will end according to His plan!

Today's adventure

Today I went on a fun little journey to The Renaissance Hotel in downtown Nashville! It was for the NAMB conference which is an annual thing where all the big whigs from the 50 states come together to learn more about reaching their state. I had a fantastic time hanging out with some familiar faces like Merrie Johnson, Doug Couch, Scott Kindig and Tim Binns.
I guess I never realized how much people remember me from past events. It was great to walk into a room and be greeted with genuine faces and sweet smiles. One aspect of my job is to get to know people. For the past year I have gotten to know some pretty great people from all over the United States. It makes me feel good that God is using me to make an impact all over...What a great feeling!

Tourist attractions

So I've been MIA for the past few days because my family is in Nashville and we have been taking in all the attractions! My sweet Heather came to visit as well and I was so thrilled! I have lived here for a year and I have never experienced what being a tourist is all about, ha. People actually come to this city as a vacation and there is really more stuff to do than dinner and movies.

I walked down Broadway in the evening and saw all the live music as well as the people playing on the side of the street. We went to the Ryman to see the Grand Ole Opry show. It was so great! Vince Gill and Diamond Rio performed along with many others. We also went to one of the restaurants downtown which actually had really good food!

I kind of enjoyed being a tourist for a few days, ha!

Our love was good

Our love was good
and our love was right
and i don't regret it
no, not a single night
because i knew you
now i know of.
and i know that, i want more of..

the thing that poets right about
the thing that singers sing about
the thing that flowers bloom for
the thing that stars shine for
the thing that babies laugh for
the thing that jesus died for
the thing that winners wait for
the thing that trees reach for
the thing that addicts stop for
the thing that widows die for
the thing that proud are humbled for
the thing that lonely are looking for
the thing that made me come alive
the thing that made me realize
that love is the most beautiful thing
that anyone can happen to

and i know that
because i knew you
and for that
i say thank you
and i'm bitter
and i'm not mad
i'm just thankful
for the times we had
so this is farewell
this is good bye
i know you're a girl
but you don't have to cry

because our love was good
and our love was right
and i don't regret it
no not a single night
so good bye
my love.
good bye
my love
..goodbye

~Bradley Hathaway

Data Entry

So for the past three days I have been entering in contact information from an event we did last weekend called Youth Specialties. I have learned that data entry is definitely not a field I want to go in to!

All I have done for the past three nights is sit and stare at my computer screen. The numbers start to run together and all the names start to look the same! My right leg keeps falling asleep and I swear I've developed this annoying nail taping thing inbetween typing.

I have started to think about each one of these people individually and I feel as if I have 900 new friends in the world because I have been staring at their information over and over, haha!

Basically I want to say thank you to the people who do this for a living so that I don't have to!

I want a hug

There's something about a hug that makes you feel so much better. It must be the embrace when someone wraps their arms around you that just makes you feel perfect. You can almost feel how much they care and every part of you seems to get the tingles.

I can remember hugs that took my breath away because of the feeling that took place inside my soul when I was enveloped by another. It's a warm feeling that takes over your thoughts sends chills that raise the hair on your arms.

Now I know you're thinking to yourself, A hug? Can a hug really do all that? You must be describing a kiss. But I'm not!

A hug brings joy to my heart, especially when the person scoops you up in a big bear hug and doesn't let go until you're ready!

You see there was this moment...I can remember standing there with my face nestled into his chest, he was so warm and for that moment I felt protected and loved. It was the best feeling and I miss it!

What I wouldn't give for a hug like that again.

Celebrating, Tennessee style

I ate way too much food!

The past two days have been so amazing between the food and the fellowship! On Thursday our whole group prepared a feast which included everything from turkey to cranberry sauce. We went all out and let me say, "It was absolutely delicious!"

We had quite the gathering as well. So far I've seen Manwell, Pablo, Blanca, Jonathan, Kelly, Amber, Clay, Kara, Steffy, Kyle, Lucas, Brock, Auny + all my roomies. The fun doesn't stop there! Today Kristen and Matt are coming into town for another fun filled day.It's always so great when all your friends come to town to celebrate the holidays!!

I have so many funny stories like dancing to Group 1 Crew around the bonfire to breaking and cutting down limbs for the fire... I'll just show you some of the moments!

This was the amazing spread we had. Look at all that food!



Jonathan and Brock trying to break that limb. We had to get the saw out on that one.



Don't we look cute by the fire and all in our vests, ha!





I'll have more tomorrow! How was your Thanksgiving???

Thanksgiving away from home!

There are just somethings that take time to get used to and then some things that will never bring you peace. This year is the first year that I won't spend Thanksgiving with my Mom and Dad. I'm sad that tomorrow I won't wake up to Mama cooking way too much food and Daddy working on some project in the garage with Brock. This is something I don't think I can get used to. Time away from your family makes you understand how great the times are that you did get to send with them. Oh how I'll miss the lemon pie and baby hugs from Summer...the decorating of the Christmas tree and just hanging out in the den till late in the evening. Basically, I'm gonna miss home tomorrow!!!

I will be spending Thanksgiving with a family. My Nashville family! We are going over to Brock's house for some amazing turkey and fellowship. Although it will never compare to Thanksgiving at home, I think that I'm in for a good time!

Do you have Thanksgiving plans??

Psalm 17

Psalm 17

A David Prayer

Listen while I build my case, God, the most honest prayer you'll ever hear.
Show the world I'm innocent—
in your heart you know I am.

Go ahead, examine me from inside out,
surprise me in the middle of the night—
You'll find I'm just what I say I am.
My words don't run loose.

I'm not trying to get my way
in the world's way.
I'm trying to get your way,
your Word's way.
I'm staying on your trail;
I'm putting one foot
In front of the other.
I'm not giving up.

I call to you, God, because I'm sure of an answer.
So—answer! bend your ear! listen sharp!
Paint grace-graffiti on the fences;
take in your frightened children who
Are running from the neighborhood bullies
straight to you.

Keep your eye on me;
hide me under your cool wing feathers
From the wicked who are out to get me,
from mortal enemies closing in.

Their hearts are hard as nails,
their mouths blast hot air.
They are after me, nipping my heels,
determined to bring me down,
Lions ready to rip me apart,
young lions poised to pounce.
Up, God: beard them! break them!
By your sword, free me from their clutches;
Barehanded, God, break these mortals,
these flat-earth people who can't think beyond today.

I'd like to see their bellies
swollen with famine food,
The weeds they've sown
harvested and baked into famine bread,
With second helpings for their children
and crusts for their babies to chew on.

And me? I plan on looking
you full in the face. When I get up,
I'll see your full stature
and live heaven on earth.

Girl's Day Out

Today was such a wonderful day! I had the day off because I worked all weekend in Atlanta. For the first time since I moved here, my three roommates and I went out to lunch and just enjoyed hanging out. We went to this great little place called Dumplins in downtown Franklin. It was so great to just sit and spend time with each other. We laughed and talked about lots of different situations in our lives. After a fabulous lunch Kim and I took pictures in the leaves. Our yard is completely covered with orange and yellow speckles. It's so pretty, we couldn't resist taking pictures...

Days off are like little blessings from above. I love being able to sleep in and enjoy the day instead of worrying about traffic, emails and headaches. I need more days like today!