It's tough getting older

Waited all my life, for this day to come.
I feel like letting go,
Life goes on.
Wasting no more time,
so much to be done.
Everything works out, so they say.
Over my shoulder, it's tough getting older.

Seems like nothing is black and white anymore
Shades of grey and I feel the weight over my shoulder, it's tough getting older
Always thought that I knew where I'd want to go, but now I'm here and I find that I'm still getting colder.
It's kind of tough getting older

Here before my eyes, many roads ahead.
Time for me to choose, one way now.
If I take a chance, what lies down the road.
Feeling so confused, turn around.

On and on

Seems like nothing is black and white anymore
Shades of grey and I feel the weight over my shoulder, it's tough getting older
Always thought that I knew where I'd want to go, but now I'm here and I find that I'm still getting colder.
It's kind of tough getting older

Never thought I would feel this way
Always knew that my life would change
On and on...

Waited all my life, for this day to come.
I feel like letting go,
Life goes on.

Seems like nothing is black and white anymore
Shades of grey and I feel the weight over my shoulder, it's tough getting older
Always thought that I knew where I'd want to go, but now I'm here and I find that I'm still getting colder.
It's kind of tough getting older.
(Colbie)

Seems like we can all get stuck in this grey area...

It's become foggy

What a rough day!
I have reached the point of being tired. So much that I can't sleep at night because I have so many things on my mind but there is no where for them to go! I wish I could explain all the thoughts, fears and frustrations but my blog would become about 10 pages long if I wrote it all out.
I'm sitting here staring at the same four walls that I stare at all the time. They are off white and the look of them saddens me. Everything has become foggy and certain things are not making sense anymore. Where once I thought I was on a path laid out for me, I feel like now I'm trying to hard to follow a path of misdirection. What that means, I can't really explain! All I know is that the excitement I used to wake up to, is no longer there. Instead I wake up with this sick feeling in my tummy and this heaviness on my heart.
How do I fix it? I wish I knew the answer. One thing that would help is if you would pray with me! Here are a few things you can help me out with...
Prayer for direction
Prayer for wisdom
Prayer for understanding
Prayer for some sort of healing
Prayer for rest.

Sustaining

When we hear the word suffering we usually think of physical pain. But psycological suffering is just as real-and sometimes more devastating.
It may be an inner grief or sorrow you cannot express, even to your dearest friend. It may sap your strength or paralyze you with anxiety. It may harm your relationships, or even grip you so tightly that it becomes more then just a temporary problem, but serious psycological illness.
Paul knew what it was to experience psycological suffering; he told the Corinthians he had written them "out of much affliction and anguish of heart"(2 Cor.2:4). Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane, "being in agony,...prayed more earnestly"(Luke 22:44). After denying His Lord three times, Peter "went out and wept bitterly"(Luke 22:62).
But when such times come(and they come to us all) God still loves us. He does not abandon us. Remember: "The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms"(Deut. 33:27).

That seems to help....If only for the moment!

Intimidated

Here's another question I have been pondering... Why are people, guys in general, intimidated by girls who are independent?

My dad raised me to be an independent lady and to know how to take care of myself. He taught me all about my car and how to deal with situations, among other things. Girls who can hold their own or can carry on a conversation about football seems amazing to me. It's almost like a plus.
Needy, clingy and superficial girls doesn't seem appealing in my book! So why is that what most guys turn to?

Here's some advice to the all decent but clueless fellows out there...look around! Girls that care more about there shoes than their future isn't going to get you far in life. Think about what you really need in life instead of what looks pretty on paper. I bet your option will look a lot different!

What do I do?

So people often ask what I do and i try to explain. Honestly though, I do a lot more then I tell people.
Here let me show you...

I paint stage props...in 108 degree weather!





I make show schedules inbetween merch set up and sound cues.





I pose at the merch table for pictures:)




I help check tires on a semi truck!

Now you're probably wondering what does all this have to do with being a ministry assoicate? Everything my friend, everything!

Stanford Freedom Experience

All I can say is WOW! Three days and three nights of working hard and not sleeping doesn't sound like much fun, but it is and so worth it! Tonight was the last night of our first FX for 2007. It was an amazing tour stop and we saw close to 2500 people or more over the course of the three days. God moved and He moved big!
I'm not sure what the final was for decisions made this week was but I'm pretty sure it was over 200. You could stand back and watch the people of this town absorb the love of God.
Our whole staff, performers and all we amazed at the response we saw and we are counting down the days till the next tour stop.

Here are some pictures from this week...

What is friendship?

What do you consider a friendship?

My answer...putting time and effort into building a bond with someone. Learning about their life and sharing with each other. Friendship is being there for one another and building each other up in hard times. It's about giving and growing together through the many chapters in life.

So what do you think? What is your answer?

FX Night One

So I'm in Kentucky and tonight was the first night of Freedom Experience 2007. Let me tell you, the devil tried everything he could tonight to stop the event from happening. I'll give you two examples...

First, pne minute before the show was about to start, the power went out in the enitre school causing the stage and gym to go black The soundboard and equipment powered off and it was scrabble to fix the problem.
Second, right before the big illusion of the night was about to happening, the laptop where the music was playing from quit working. As some people know, Brock's show has lots of sound cues and most of the illusions run along side the music. What a fiasco that occured.

Although there were some setbacks, everything the devil threw our way, was taking and wrapped by the love of God. His word was to be shared and nothing, and I do mean nothing will stop us from loving on the people in Stanford, KY! We are here tell these people about a powerful God that will change lives and heal the broken.

The devil probably has a few more tricks up his sleeve but our team and hearts are ready, so bring it on!

My friend Jen

I got to talk to my friend Jen tonight!
She makes my heart happy and I am counting down the days until I can hang out with her.
Let me tell you a little about her!

Jen loves life
sports
peanut butter
nilla wafers
dictionary reading
falling up steps
carpet
Chipotle
chocolate
studying (strange I know)
taping ankles
nike shorts
Big Star jeans
and most importantly, Jesus!

Everyone should have a friend like Jen, but I'm not sharing her:)

Sincere Prayer

I was wondering if you could help me pray for my friend Morgan Lawrence...

Morgan plays guitar in a band called Detour180. He is a true man of God with a heart for ministry. His passion is reach the lost with the gift that God has given him, music!
Recently Morgan's world has been turned upside down and his passion of playing guitar has been placed on hold with no resolution as to when it will return. In July of this year, Morgan was in a car accident leaving his left arm shattered. After an 8 hour surgery, the doctors were able to placed pins, screws and bolts in his arm in order to repair the damage. He went through a painful recovery which included some emotional stress, but was on his way back to a normal life until this past Friday.
Friday night, someone ran into the side of Morgan causing the screws and bolts to come undone, re breaking his arm in several places. Because of a money issue and because of the extent of the damage, Morgan is now on his way home, back to New Zealand to go through yet another lengthy surgery. He has been dealing with the pain and discomfort for 5 days now and will be on a plane for 17 hours today in order to get home for surgery.
Morgan's time with Detour180 as well as his time here in the US has been cut short, leaving him in a state of uncertainty and sadness.

I am asking for your prayers...prayers for healing, prayers for safety and prayers that God will stand beside him through yet another painful recovery. Prayers for the future...if the music chapter of his life is to be closed, then prayers that God will bless him with new passions and a new way to serve in ministry.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and to pray. It will mean so much to Morgan's heart!

Something I needed to hear...

Give God your Worries
When I kept things to myself, I felt weak deep inside me
Psalm 32:3

Ask yourself two questions:
Is there any unconfessed sin in my life?
Confession is telling God you did the thing he saw you do. He doesn't need to hear it as much as you need to say it. Whether its too small to be mentioned or too big to be forgiven isn't yours to decide. Your task is to be honest...
Are there any unsurrendered worries in my heart? "Give all your worries to him, because he cares about you" (I Peter 5:7)
The German word for worry means "to strangle" The Greek word for worry means "to divide the mind" Both are accurate. Worry is a noose on the neck and a distraction of the mind, neither of which is befitting for joy.

(listening to Hold Fast by Mercy Me)

Anyway

Some songs just speak...

You can spend your whole life building
Something from nothin'
One storm can come and blow it all away
Build it anyway

You can chase a dream
That seems so out of reach
And you know it might not ever come your way
Dream it anyway

God is great
But sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
I do it anyway

This world's gone crazy
It's hard to believe
That tomorrow will be better than today
Believe it anyway

You can love someone with all your heart
For all the right reasons
In a moment they can choose to walk away
Love 'em anyway

God is great
But sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
Yea - I do it anyway

You can pour your soul out singing
A song you believe in
That tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang
Sing it anyway
Yea, sing it anyway
Yeah, yeah!

I sing
I dream
I love anyway
~Martina McBride

I got chills when I heard this...

I want everyone to take a minute and read this...
It will give you chills and remind you how big God is!

Read Auny's blog from today and then go look at her friend Gin's comment.
Auny's Blog

When we pray to God, He listens and He answers!

Family Force 5

I saw the boys this past weekend at Spirit West Coast and they put on a killer show as usual! Thought I would share some pictures with you all...

If you haven't seen them live, you are missing out!!!

God speaking through Proverbs!

We can make our own plans, but the Lord gives the right answer.
~Proverbs 16:1
We may throw the dice, but the Lord determines how they fall.
~Proverbs 16:33
You can Make many plans, but the Lord's purpose will prevail.
~Proverbs 19:21
The Lord directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way?
~Proverbs 20:24
Every word of God proves true. He is a shield to all who come to Him for protection.
~Proverbs 30:5

I read through Proverbs this weekend and God threw some powerful verses at me. He has a mighty way of doing that! If you look at all these verses, you will see the pattern that God was showing me. My life and my plans are all in His hands. He holds my very being tighty in his grasp and He has big things in store for me, things that I can't even imagine. He directs my steps and He will guide me all the way. How great is that. What a journey that lies ahead!

I'm ready God, bring it on!

God Knows...

God knows best! That's what I've always been taught to trust...

I have been praying a lot lately for selfish things. Things that in my eyes are important but in the big scheme of things are not. Things that I want instead of things that I need. Sometimes it's almost like a cry for help when what I should be doing is crying out Thank You.
Thank you for the blessings! Thank you for being alive! Thank for the good times that make me laugh, even if in the end they may make me cry! Everything is a teaching tool. Why can't I accept that?

God, I apologize for my selfish, bitter thoughts. I want, what you want for my life! I want to find joy in each day instead of sorrow in one situation. I pray for patience and guidance. Take away the worry and fill it with your unfailing love! I offer you my life...take it and lead it where you will!

That's what I should be praying for!!!

Traveling

Traveling gets to me sometimes! Airports start to look all the same. Auny and I found a way to relax when we travel...
Take a look:)