Tug of War

Stressed...Worried...Freaking out!

Those all sum up me today.

There is so much going on around me and finding out...or the lack there of...is making my stomach turn and my head hurt. My appetite has left the building and my thoughts have now taken over my work ethic and my socialness( if that's even a word).

The Bible tells us in the book of Matthew, not to worry...


"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

...and I can think of tons of people, sermons, counselors and friends who can repeatedly tell me, 'Don't worry it's going to be fine. Everything is going to work out' but I still have doubts and fears and this consistent turning in my tummy. How do I release these fears? I do to conquer my doubts?

The cookie cutter answer would be 'give them to Jesus and he will take care of them.' I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've turned everything over and then come back weeks later only to realize I never let them go. Like, I said that I gave them up but in reality my hand was still latched on tightly like someone playing tug of war. It's a constant game and no matter how hard I try, I can't let go.

I don't want to win the game but for some reason I can't walk away from the game. I can't put the rope down. I'm playing this game of tug of war all wrong. The goal is to let the rope go and allow the one on the other end to take the glory instead of pulling until the other one loses control.

How do I do this? How can I get to the point where my worries and fears are laid down instead of clinched to so tightly?