Waiting

I sit and I wait. Waiting becomes something that overtakes me. My thoughts. My dreams. The way I process things. But I wonder why? There is no reason why waiting can't be a good thing. I wait for Christmas presents and birthday parties. Those things excite me when I wait in wonder of how it's going to be. Why is waiting for specific things so hard on me. I wait for answers and I wait for clarity. Most of all I wait for love.
A woman waiting for love. Sounds like something that happens everyday...
You're right, it does happen everyday. The wait is more like worry. How do you know when you find it? Will it be like the movies descibe it? Is it the person that has always been right there under your nose? My waiting is worry. It causes a sense of pain and anxiety.
God wants us to wait. Wait on the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. But how long does it take?
How do you get the point where you can step back, relax and know that God is going to send you something worth waiting for?

Journal time

Never knew it would amount to anything:

Here I am, in a place where my dreams could only lead me. I look at this new land and see everything that my heart has always dreamed of. For years I wanted the change in my life. I had longed to see new places, new faces and be overwhelmed with new experiences. God has granted those wishes and for some reason I lay here in disappointment because my perfect world is missing something. My heart has a missing piece. It's like putting together a puzzle, but losing the main piece that makes it beautiful. That one piece that completes the sky or the stars. You have to know which one I am talking about! God has painted a perfect place and I can't appreciate it. It makes tears swell up in my eyes. It makes my heart hurt and it causes this sick feeling the pit of my stomach. One that could only come from loving something and not having it.
This piece is so magnificent in my eyes. It once made me feel so alive, like I could fly without wings. It enhanced the colors my life. The music in my head became the music in my heart. I knew that God had planned it. He looked at all my hopes and thoughts and placed this perfect piece in my life. Everything about it was what I had prayed for. He had blessed me with everything and for a few moments I was truly happy.
I sit here now looking back and grieving but how could I be so ungrateful. He gave me something so precious that I worshiped it and became lost in it, forgetting why I truly had it. God gave it to me because he knew what would make me happy. He saw the way I felt when the warm breeze blew across my face and how the stars flew from one point to another. He knew that my heart was happy and I never thanked Him. Instead I took my blessing and ran. I ran away from my Maker and made Him second. How could I be so shallow to take my gift and not thank God everyday for it. Instead I took it and sat it on a pedestal. It was mine and nothing else compared.
Now I sit here without that piece to my life and I dwell on not having it when I should dwell on thanking God for having it, if only for a moment. So God I thank you for giving me such a indescribable gift. One that will remain in my heart and in my dreams forever. If I never find that perfect piece again, I know that it is because you will replace my whole puzzle one day with a new picture to put together. And this one I will never place before you!

But maybe it will:)

Summer Love

So I know that I always rave about my niece, but I have every reason to. Just wanted to give everyone a reminder of why I talk about her so much...

Now you can see why I talk about her so much:)

Bubbly

I love this song!!

I've been awake for a while now
you've got me feelin like a child now
cause every time i see your bubbly face
I get the tinglies in a silly place

It starts in my toes
makes me crinkle my nose
where ever it goes I always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time
where ever you go

The rain is fallin on my window pane
but we are hidin in a safer place
under the covers stayin safe and warm
you give me feelins that i adore

It starts in my toes
makes me crinkle my nose
where ever it goes
i always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time

where ever you go

What am i gonna say
when you make me feel this way
I just........mmmmmmmmmmm

It starts in my toes
makes me crinkle my nose
where ever it goes
i always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time
where ever you go

I’ve been asleep for a while now
You tucked me in just like a child now
Cause every time you hold me in your arms
I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth

It starts in my soul
And I lose all control
When you kiss my nose
The feelin shows
Cause you make me smile
Baby just take your time
Holdin me tight

Where ever, where ever, where ever you go
Where ever, where ever, where ever you go…
~Colbie Caillat

Devotion for the day!

This morning I led our devotion for Vertical. It is a time where the whole staff can get together and reflect on what God is doing through our ministry. I decided that we should focus on the youth that we are trying to reach and the excuses we come up with for not doing certain things, like service.

There is a passage in the book "The Purpose Driven Life," that makes me stop and think every time I read it. It's in chapter 29 and it reads:
"If you are not involved in any service or ministry, what excuse have you been using? Abraham was old, Jacob was insecure, Leah was unattractive, Joseph was abused, Moses stuttered, Gideon was poor, Samson was codependent, Rahab was immoral, David had an affair and all kinds of family problems, Elijah was suicidal, Jeremiah was depressed, Jonah was reluctant, Naomi was a widow, John the Baptist was eccentric to say the least, Peter was impulsive and hot-tempted, Martha worried a lot, the Samaritan woman had several failed marriages, Zacchaeus was unpopular, Thomas had doubts, Paul had poor health and Timothy was timid. That is quite a bit of misfits, but God used each of them in His service. He will use you too, if you stop making excuses."

What a powerful statement! God can use everyone in some big ways if we put aside the word can't and realize that He will bless us as we speak His word. We should be teaching our youth that they have an active role in presenting the Gospel. They may not get it right the first time, but you have to start somewhere. Our youth is the future of the church. We should be pouring into them, teaching them about service and ministering!
So what excuse do you have? You shouldn't have any!!!

Fun times with Kyla

So my friend Kyla came to visit me in Florida and she made my week very special. She was there to laugh and listen. She has this innocent crazy side that I absolutely love and she brings joy to my life whenever I am around her. I am blessed to have her in my life and I look forward to all our crazy moments to come!

Sad day

I always tend to have some amazing times during the summer! This summer, I had some of the best. I was given the opportunity to work with some of the most influential people ever. It was not just another camp experience! It was more like a family vacation. I made some new friends, learned some new ways to serve and I got to love on some incredible kids. Watching these youth come to know the Lord, that's what it is all about.
My journey lead me to meet people who have taught me so much about giving back, really reaching out and going that extra mile to share hope and love in Jesus! That's enough to make anyone's summer absolutely perfect!

Meet these two

I want to introduce you to Christopher and Noah!
These two little guys made my last week of camp so special!!!

Christopher loved to keep me entertained at the merch table and I watched him as he absorb The Gospel throughout the week!





Little Noah got saved this week and was so proud to tell everyone that he had chosen to follow Christ. That is why I love working with the ministry I work with:)

bumper boats, nips and red lights

Now we tend to have some amazing times on the road. Tuesday night was considered the night of non stop laughing!
It all strated early in the night when Brock was trying to set up one of his illusions and realized that there was a missing piece! A missing piece that you can get at Lowe's but one that you may not want to say...haha! If you want to know, please ask me because I am shy about writing it on my blog;)

After an awesome night of worship, Kyla, Auny and myself went to ride bumper boats. We got completely soaked and it was incredible. We were acting like 5 year olds and we were unashamed of that fact. The night was so much fun. There was some red lights and extra money but I'll have to explain that to you in person.

So ask me!

p.s. Therron is the coolest :)

My new friend

Let me tell you guys about my friend Therron! He is one of a kind, and that is not an exaggeration. He likes to throw tapes balls at my head and he gives me guilt trips about not bringing him Starbucks! I consider myself to be a very giving person so I'm not sure why he torments me! I give him free t-shirts and stickers and he still makes me feel bad

With all that said, he is so much fun! Kind of like the brother I never wanted...haha:)
Nah, he is genuinely great and I am glad we are friends.

A place I call home!!

I haven't written in a while because for the past week I haven been spending time at one of my favorite places on Earth, CASWELL!
I got to spend time with some amazing people in an amazing place while having an amazing time. My heart was rejuvenated with joy and laughter. A smile never left my face last week because of the experiences that took place. There was this one experience that made my week special...OK painting a picture:
Me & Jen Jen
Ben Ben, David & Will
A water slide and 21 questions!
Enough said...haha

I can't wait till I get to go back...what a grand day that will be:)