Diagnose

Have you ever tried to sit down and describe your feelings?

Like you're real life daily emotions...Not all the gushy, lovely dovey, angry, pissed off at the world ones but the ones that might consume you on a regular basis. The ones you don't quite fully understand? The ones that leave you sitting at your desk staring at the computer in hopes that Google can help diagnose why you feel the way you do?

I've never tried to fully define what I'm feeling. Most of the time I make excuses about why I feel a certain way or I cover it up by telling the world I'm fine. It's a coping mechanism that I've used for years and it always seems to make people think I have it together and I am just a naturally happy individual. Today I publicly state... THAT'S NOT THE CASE. I have some serious chaos going on inside and my fear is that one day it's all gonna come bursting out and my words will not be very pleasant.

Contradiction has caused me to doubt almost everything that comes out of my mouth. I would love to be completely confident in myself and my words but somewhere along the way I made myself believe that I can't or I'm not good/skilled enough.

I talked to a few people about these feelings and they mainly all say the same thing... 'You have absolutely no reason to feel this way!' I so wish I could...I want to be able to change these feelings overnight. Wipe my mind clean from the memories of feeling this way. How do I do that? Ugh...

Viewable

My blog reached 20,000 views today!

That's a lot of people reading about my life :)

Thanks readers and I promise I will write more in the days to come!

My new red obsession...

Blog world meet my new obsession...

<--------- My red Ripstik! Yep, that's right... I am 28 years old and I'm obsessed with a Ripstik and all my friends are becoming obsessed too. Call me a skater chic if you want because I will break out some Vans skate shoes and a hoodie if I need to :) But seriously, this board is so fun and is a challenge in itself. I think that's why everyone is starting to become addicted. It's fun, cool and provides you with a leg and core workout. Oh and if you Ripstik in the 90 degree whether, you are sure to lose a few inches. Nothing says fun like skating in the park in the middle of summer's heat. OK my promotional speech is over! I do think you need to go buy one though. If anything just for the coolness factor :)

I should have played with Lincoln Logs

What do I want to be when I grow up?

Hmmm good question! When I was 10, I wanted to be a veterinarian. When I was 16 I wanted to be a famous singer. When I was 22 I wanted to work in a corner office in Times Square in New York City. When I was 25 I wanted to be an event planner that planned festivals, concerts and tours for the Christian market. Today... when I think about it so many thoughts come to mind, but nothing that screams "This is My Life Goal!"

I feel like some people are born knowing exactly what they want to do. It's like the doctor wrote it on their name tag at birth or they just naturally grab a toy, like a Lincoln Logs and immediately they knew 'I'm going to be an Architect or a Construction Worker!' Do you think that really happens? If so i must have played with the wrong toys with I was little. Either that or I played with too many... the variety mixed up my train of thought, ha!

So here I am, 28 with several great skills sets but no real direction in where my skill sets fit. I should write up my own application! It would read something like this....

Seeking:

Job where my desk is stationary but my work is not. My creativity reaches no bounds and my thoughts are not limited to 'the way we've always done it.' My work skills will include organization, details under my control, large venues with multiple requirements needed and a team under me that will not get in my way, but do what needs to happen when things need to get done. Music and Entertainment must be a primary factor. Salary will be enough for me to acquire my OWN place and will allow left-overs for whatever I choose. Travel will be involved but only when the personal schedule allows. Haha... yep I'm a dreamer!

So anyone hiring?

Goal: Figure out what my life long career goal is!
Due Date: One week from today!

Savannah = Memorial Day fun

Question: Hey Guys & Gals, What should we do for Memorial Day this year?

Response: SAVANNAH!

So, that's what we did! We pack up three cars with outfits for the weekend, towels for the beach, sunscreen galore, softball gloves for catch and high hopes for an awesome weekend with no rain! Well, we definitely got the weekend we hoped for :)

Savannah is one of those cities that just makes you feel good the second you drive beneath the willow trees and beside the historic buildings. It's a beautiful city enriched with history and now memories. Without going in to a day-by-day, hour-by-hour blog session of our trip, here are a few highlights:

The weekend was shared by 5 lovely ladies and 4 handsome fellows...

Kay, Me, Bree, Julie and Melani...

along with Wil, Kenny, Kevin and James!

We took multiple trips to Tybee Island for beach time, ocean time and food time...

The ladies catching some rays on the beach

Kevin and I... with not enough sunscreen on.

Wil, Kevin and I catching some yummy food at the Crab Shack

WOW! Wish that plate was in front of me right now!

Our nights were spent down by the river on River Street, known for the night life, street performers and cobble stone streets...which are a hazard for people in sandals not paying attention to where they are walking. I stumped my toe soooo bad :(


We did some climbing...

some yacht admiring...

and some star glazing, I think :)

It was a great trip!

Let's plan another one, NOW.