Butterfly Sparks Designs

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Singing again!!

Last night was so much fun!

You see, my friend Daniel just moved to Nashville and he lives 5 minutes from my house in Franklin! I am so excited that I have someone familiar to hang out with, swap stories about North Carolina and just laugh. Last night we decided to record some music and I must say, it was so much fun to actually be singing again! It felt good and it felt comfortable...

Here are some pictures of our recording project...


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The recording part was fun but who knows how it will sound, ha!!

Monday, September 24, 2007

Look what we did...

Courtney and I went on a little happy, fun trip on Friday!


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We took a trip to Turner Field to see the Braves play!
Sporting events always make the weekends better!!

Sunday, September 23, 2007

close calls

There were two close calls in my life tonight!

Tonight Mallori and I were driving back from Atlanta...
First off, we probably shouldn't have been driving so late but, it's always so hard to leave!

OK so we're driving back and I see this guy with his brake lights on up ahead. I firgured he was just slowing down but I was wrong! He was completely stopped in the middle of the lane because there was a three pile wreck in front of him. I slammed on brakes and my tires were vibrating so much I felt like they were going to fall off. Mallori was following behind me and she almost crashed into the back of me because of the abrupt stop. I missed hitting the truck by a few inches and Mal missed hitting me by a few inches as well. Close call number one!

A little further down the road I was passing an 18 wheeler when his back, right tire blew. It made the loudest noise ever and sparks began to fly. My heart jumped and it was beating so fast as I pulled as far off the road as I could to get away from him. Mallori did the same and then called me so we could share how freaked out we were! Close call number two!

What an eye opening 3 hour drive. We're not sure if God was keeping us awake by giving us some surprises on the way home or if it was just one crazy night on Interstate 24!

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Dan

Did I ever tell you about my friend Dan from this summer?
If not, let me show you an adventure that we took this summer to Disney World...



Didn't that look like an amaizng trip? HAHA

Friday, September 21, 2007

hide behind

Sometimes we hide behind our fears. Sometimes we hide behind our pride. It could be insecurity, sensitivity and even hiding behind change. Life can be so funny sometimes...You think you have certain things figured out but then out of nowhere it's those things that look radically different.
Why do we think there has to be some magical way to understand certain aspects in order to live happy. Hiding is not a source of living. Hiding only causes us to miss out on the things that were given to us for joy. Things to make us laugh. Things to make us blush. Things make us love. Who wants to miss out on that?

Leave the hiding for a game of Hide -N-Seek!

Start embracing the joy. Embrace the laughter, the blushing and the love!

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Name Meanings

My roommate had a surprise for me when I came home from FX...
She had looked up the meaning of my name and she couldn't believe how well it described me!
For those of you who know me, see if this sounds like me:

Shannon

After an Irish river "Irish"

Energetic and courageous you stand up for your beliefs and for what you desire. You are independent, strong willed and fiercely competitive when needed although your ambition is tempered with patience. You maintain a positive attitude and with a more organised or practical approach to life material success is very likely. Your immensely loving and generous nature brings joy into peoples lives and ensures your happiness.

I wonder what your name means?

Powerful

For the past four days I have been in the mountains of Virginia in a little town called Grundy! What an experience... a true Freedom Experience! The atmoshpere was intense and we saw such a reaction from the kids here. God's presence was in the venue each night and it was truley powerful. The venue was completely packed with people from all over the surrounding counties. We saw so many kids dedicate their lives to the Lord but in a way that we have never seen before. There was a need for hope in this town and God spoke through our whole team to give this community true hope and joy. He has big things planned for these amazing people.

It was amazing!!

God also did a bit of work on me while I was here and He began to reveal some pretty powerful things. I plan on continuing to press forward and listening for what God has planned.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Again

I won't be the circus for you to star in
I won't leave you roses to watch them die
You won't be the heartache that keeps me sleepless
You won't be the songs that I could never write

I don't want to stay, I don't want to fall
I don't want to have to see you leave me
I don't want to stay, I don't want to fall in love
Maybe I'm a fake, maybe you're a lie
Maybe our last chance died with last night
I don't want to stay, I don't want to fall in love with you again

I won't be a fortress for you to hide in
I won't be the first one you think to call
You won't be the regrets that I can't live with
And we won't be the last ones to ever have to lose it all

When we're scared and lonely
We will tell ourselves we're only
Just a word from what we needed
But we know that this ain't right

I don't want to stay, I don't want to fall
I don't want to have to see you leave me
I don't want to stay, I don't want to fall in love
Maybe I'm a fake, maybe you're a lie
Maybe our last chance died with last night
I don't want to stay, I don't want to fall in love with you again

I can't stay
I can't fall for you again
-Needtobreathe

Friday, September 14, 2007

Atlanta

Let me see if I can sum up my Atlanta trip in a few words...

rainy
full of laughs
too close for words
pizza and football
10 episdoes of FRIENDS
a few cuddles
my brother sleeping the whole afternoon
outlet shops
one pink blanket
too much traffic
two funny Will Ferrell videos
great conversation
a wedding proposal
phone call from a sweet friend back home
a feeling of not wanting to leave...

That about sums it up!

Thursday, September 13, 2007

This made me laugh...

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/74

You have to watch this!
Excuse the language...It just really makes me laugh:)

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

proved it

Me and my friends wanted to prove that you can fit three people in a hammock comfortably...


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...and we did!

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

cosmic vending machine

When you pray, do you ask God for things? Of course, but when you do this, do you expect your prayers to be answered immediately? For most of us the answer to that question is yes with a hopefully behind it.

Sometimes people misundertand what it means to have a "relationship" with our Heavenly Father! Basically, it's not about us. We spend so much time asking for things that we forget our purpose is thank God for the things He has allowed us to have. We think that our relationship with God is a cosmic vending machine. You just push the J4 button and all your wishes come falling out and into your hands. It's not like that! God blesses us with what we need, not always what we want. Our wants are sometimes not what is best for our lives and sometimes that's hard to see.

I wonder what our lives would look like if God gave us everything we asked for? I see us being lazy, unhappy and spoiled! Everything would seem meaningless and nothing would bless our hearts because we wouldn't see the value in anything. When God blesses you with special things, you appreciate them and you treasure them. And you know when it's a gift from God. You feel completely overwhelmed by an unexplainable joy!

Why would want to give that up for all your wants and an empty feeling?

Monday, September 10, 2007

What if...

It's a question that we put in front of so many things through out our lives.

What if?

Often, we think about what would have happened if we had made a different choice or what would something be like if it was completely different from the way it has always been. I was intrigued by a sentence I read today that asked the question, "what if the streets of Heaven turned to brass? Would they still be as beautiful if they were not made of gold?" It caught my eye because it was such an astonishing statement. Of course they would still be beautiful! Who decided that gold was perfect?

I ask myself questions all the time like, "what if I had chosen that path?" or "what if I wasn't so anxious, would my thoughts and ambitions be the same?" I always look for the "gold" in life because it's beautiful and I figure it will make my life perfect. But what if my life was meant to be silver or brass, would it matter?

Now I know these are dumb comparisons but my point is, sometimes we look so hard for the perfect that we walk right by the magnificient.

Sunday, September 09, 2007

hiding or drowning?

I haven't been sleeping well lately! My mind seems to be fully charged whenever I lay down to sleep. It has a hundred different thoughts running through it and I can't seem to slow them down long enough to rest. I've had this happen a few times before but never for this long.

When I was little I couldn't sleep on Christmas Eve but it was only because I wanted to catch a glimpse of Santa. Just once...but I never did. I can remember not being able to sleep everytime my mom went to the hospital. My dad would always say "she's gonna be fine, don't worry," but I worried. I would lay there and pray that she would come home fixed and that she would never have to go back, but she returned countless times. Each time I would have a wrestling match with my covers until I finally drifted off.

You see, sleep is something I love! I would sleep all day if I could. I love to crawl into bed when the room is super cold, bundle up under my comforter and hibernate. I love to dream! There are some amazing things that happen in dreamland, who wouldn't want to be a part of that?

I can't figure this one out...what could be wrong or what am I waiting up to see?

Could I be hiding from dreams or drowning in my thoughts?

Saturday, September 08, 2007

The Bible talks!

But God's not finished. He's waiting around to be gracious to you.
He's gathering strength to show mercy to you.
God takes the time to do everything right—everything.
Those who wait around for him are the lucky ones.
~Isaiah 30 :18 (The Message)

It's amazing what God will say to you through passages of the Bible if you just open your heart and listen! It was like the Bible was written for guidance or something..haha!
What has God said to you lately??

Friday, September 07, 2007

Come on get higher


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Everyone needs to buy Matt Nathanson's new CD! It is amazing....

I miss the sound of your voice
And I miss the rush of your skin
And I miss the still of the silence
As you breathe out and I breathe in

If I could walk on water
If I could tell you what's next
I'd make you believe
I'd make you forget

So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love

I miss the sound of your voice
Loudest thing in my head
And I ache to remember
All the violent, sweet
Perfect words that you said

If I could walk on water
If I could tell you what's next
I'd make you believe
I'd make you forget

So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love

I feel of your heart
I taste the sparks on your tongue
I see angels and devils
And God, when you come on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on

Sing sha la la la
Sing sha la la la la

So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me, drown me in love

It's all wrong, it's all wrong
It's all wrong, it's so right
So come on, get higher
So come on and get higher
'Cause everything works, love
Everything works when you're on

I absolutely adore this song and the delicate meaning behind it!

Little porcelain cheeks

I have my moments where I miss home so much!
I had a few of those moments yesterday when I was talking to mom and dad on the phone, when I ate Oh's cereal at the office and when I saw these adorable pictures of my niece. She is my little munchkin. She makes me miss home so much I can hardly stand it. I would give anything for Summer size hug.


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You see, she is a special little girl. She is only five but she is one of the strongest kids I know. She has been through a lot but still has a beautiful smile on her little porcelain cheeks.

I wish I could see her everyday.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Pure, Sincere, Expressed Love

Hands and Feet. Love and Fear.
What was once dirty is now clean.

The puzzle begins to be shaped, each piece being so precise and perfect.
What does this look like when it's all placed together...LOVE!

Pure, Sincere, Expressed Love.

What does each piece look like?
Well, Emily has a leadership about her and Auny brings wisdom to the circle. Kyla expresses grace while Amy provides protection. Laura brings lots of laughter to the group and Mallori brings joy into hearts. Stephanie provides acceptence as well as faith while Heather expresses serventhood with her youthful spirit. Charmene shows kindness in all she is and me, well I guess I add Mercy to the circle.

What do we all have in common?
A bond that cannot be broken and the Father of the Heavens. An Abba that placed us together for comfort. for advice. for smiles. for tears. for so much more than we know yet!

Candles lite the room, creating a vibrant glow across the faces of my sisters. The music played softly as the book of Romans began to be read. The words serve, teach and encourage jumped off the page and into my heart. You see, my favorite verse was being read. A feeling of wonder filled my mind as I glanced at the small bucket placed beneath a draped chair. Was i worthy?
One by one we washed the feet of our sisters blessing them with prayers. I prayed for joy as well as pure happiness for each one. I wonder what was prayed over me? Hopefully direction and wisdom.
Jesus served his disciples by washing their feet, showing them how much he loved them. Tonight we expresed love and serventhood for one another by doing the same.
We painted a picture, a beautiful one at that. There were hues of gold with white accents. It was one of the most beautiful sights seen since I moved to this new place. This picture was painted so carefully. So much time was put into the beauty.

What was the picture of...LOVE!

Pure, Sincere, Expressed Love.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

So we decided to Share!

You see, I always get pushed to the front when the bride throws the bouquet! I decided this time I would stand in the back with my friend Carrie because I am tired of catching the beautiful arrangement but the tradition not working on me!
Well I stood in the back and still that bouquet came my way. I guess flowers are attracted to me, haha! Anyway Carrie and I decided to share it. Take a look...


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We'll see who's next!!! I'm sure it's not me:)

Monday, September 03, 2007

Joy

Things that have brought me joy this week....

Getting letters from my mom and grandma.
Peanut Butter and Banana Reese Cups.
Sleeping till noon.
Watching Rush Hour 3 for the second time.
Rock and Republic jeans.
Bachelor parties...haha, yes I said Bachelor.
FX hoodies.
Strawberries and Cream frappacinos from Starbucks.
Watching ASU beat Michigan.
Talking to an old friend on the phone for two hours.
Dancing with my Caswell boys.
The book on James.
Thunderstorms.
Goose down comforters.
Text messages at 1 AM from a special person.
My 6 year old Rainbow flip flops.

These are just a few....
What brings you joy??

Sunday, September 02, 2007

A special day

I can't believe it! My friend Dave is married.

This weekend, I ventured down to Birmingham, Alabama to watch Dave Pace on the biggest day of his life. It was the precious thing I have ever seen. Not to embarrass Dave, but when he teared up at the sight of Lindsey, it was such a special moment. You could see the love they have for each other written all over their faces. I hope to find that love one day:)

I have known Dave for years now and he has been one of those friends that I can confide in. He is someone who has helped me through so many tough times in my life. He always seemed to know what to say. We bonded over our past experiences and how God has moved in our lives. Dave's love for the Lord is moving and he is going to make such an impact on so many. He already has!

I wish him and Lindsey nothing but happiness in their marriage and joy found in their relationship with Jesus Christ.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

It's tough getting older

Waited all my life, for this day to come.
I feel like letting go,
Life goes on.
Wasting no more time,
so much to be done.
Everything works out, so they say.
Over my shoulder, it's tough getting older.

Seems like nothing is black and white anymore
Shades of grey and I feel the weight over my shoulder, it's tough getting older
Always thought that I knew where I'd want to go, but now I'm here and I find that I'm still getting colder.
It's kind of tough getting older

Here before my eyes, many roads ahead.
Time for me to choose, one way now.
If I take a chance, what lies down the road.
Feeling so confused, turn around.

On and on

Seems like nothing is black and white anymore
Shades of grey and I feel the weight over my shoulder, it's tough getting older
Always thought that I knew where I'd want to go, but now I'm here and I find that I'm still getting colder.
It's kind of tough getting older

Never thought I would feel this way
Always knew that my life would change
On and on...

Waited all my life, for this day to come.
I feel like letting go,
Life goes on.

Seems like nothing is black and white anymore
Shades of grey and I feel the weight over my shoulder, it's tough getting older
Always thought that I knew where I'd want to go, but now I'm here and I find that I'm still getting colder.
It's kind of tough getting older.
(Colbie)

Seems like we can all get stuck in this grey area...

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

It's become foggy

What a rough day!
I have reached the point of being tired. So much that I can't sleep at night because I have so many things on my mind but there is no where for them to go! I wish I could explain all the thoughts, fears and frustrations but my blog would become about 10 pages long if I wrote it all out.
I'm sitting here staring at the same four walls that I stare at all the time. They are off white and the look of them saddens me. Everything has become foggy and certain things are not making sense anymore. Where once I thought I was on a path laid out for me, I feel like now I'm trying to hard to follow a path of misdirection. What that means, I can't really explain! All I know is that the excitement I used to wake up to, is no longer there. Instead I wake up with this sick feeling in my tummy and this heaviness on my heart.
How do I fix it? I wish I knew the answer. One thing that would help is if you would pray with me! Here are a few things you can help me out with...
Prayer for direction
Prayer for wisdom
Prayer for understanding
Prayer for some sort of healing
Prayer for rest.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Sustaining

When we hear the word suffering we usually think of physical pain. But psycological suffering is just as real-and sometimes more devastating.
It may be an inner grief or sorrow you cannot express, even to your dearest friend. It may sap your strength or paralyze you with anxiety. It may harm your relationships, or even grip you so tightly that it becomes more then just a temporary problem, but serious psycological illness.
Paul knew what it was to experience psycological suffering; he told the Corinthians he had written them "out of much affliction and anguish of heart"(2 Cor.2:4). Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane, "being in agony,...prayed more earnestly"(Luke 22:44). After denying His Lord three times, Peter "went out and wept bitterly"(Luke 22:62).
But when such times come(and they come to us all) God still loves us. He does not abandon us. Remember: "The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms"(Deut. 33:27).

That seems to help....If only for the moment!

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Intimidated

Here's another question I have been pondering... Why are people, guys in general, intimidated by girls who are independent?

My dad raised me to be an independent lady and to know how to take care of myself. He taught me all about my car and how to deal with situations, among other things. Girls who can hold their own or can carry on a conversation about football seems amazing to me. It's almost like a plus.
Needy, clingy and superficial girls doesn't seem appealing in my book! So why is that what most guys turn to?

Here's some advice to the all decent but clueless fellows out there...look around! Girls that care more about there shoes than their future isn't going to get you far in life. Think about what you really need in life instead of what looks pretty on paper. I bet your option will look a lot different!

Friday, August 24, 2007

What do I do?

So people often ask what I do and i try to explain. Honestly though, I do a lot more then I tell people.
Here let me show you...


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I paint stage props...in 108 degree weather!


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I make show schedules inbetween merch set up and sound cues.


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I pose at the merch table for pictures:)


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I help check tires on a semi truck!

Now you're probably wondering what does all this have to do with being a ministry assoicate? Everything my friend, everything!

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Stanford Freedom Experience

All I can say is WOW! Three days and three nights of working hard and not sleeping doesn't sound like much fun, but it is and so worth it! Tonight was the last night of our first FX for 2007. It was an amazing tour stop and we saw close to 2500 people or more over the course of the three days. God moved and He moved big!
I'm not sure what the final was for decisions made this week was but I'm pretty sure it was over 200. You could stand back and watch the people of this town absorb the love of God.
Our whole staff, performers and all we amazed at the response we saw and we are counting down the days till the next tour stop.

Here are some pictures from this week...


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Tuesday, August 21, 2007

What is friendship?

What do you consider a friendship?

My answer...putting time and effort into building a bond with someone. Learning about their life and sharing with each other. Friendship is being there for one another and building each other up in hard times. It's about giving and growing together through the many chapters in life.

So what do you think? What is your answer?

Monday, August 20, 2007

FX Night One

So I'm in Kentucky and tonight was the first night of Freedom Experience 2007. Let me tell you, the devil tried everything he could tonight to stop the event from happening. I'll give you two examples...

First, pne minute before the show was about to start, the power went out in the enitre school causing the stage and gym to go black The soundboard and equipment powered off and it was scrabble to fix the problem.
Second, right before the big illusion of the night was about to happening, the laptop where the music was playing from quit working. As some people know, Brock's show has lots of sound cues and most of the illusions run along side the music. What a fiasco that occured.

Although there were some setbacks, everything the devil threw our way, was taking and wrapped by the love of God. His word was to be shared and nothing, and I do mean nothing will stop us from loving on the people in Stanford, KY! We are here tell these people about a powerful God that will change lives and heal the broken.

The devil probably has a few more tricks up his sleeve but our team and hearts are ready, so bring it on!

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

My friend Jen

I got to talk to my friend Jen tonight!
She makes my heart happy and I am counting down the days until I can hang out with her.
Let me tell you a little about her!

Jen loves life
sports
peanut butter
nilla wafers
dictionary reading
falling up steps
carpet
Chipotle
chocolate
studying (strange I know)
taping ankles
nike shorts
Big Star jeans
and most importantly, Jesus!

Everyone should have a friend like Jen, but I'm not sharing her:)

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Sincere Prayer

I was wondering if you could help me pray for my friend Morgan Lawrence...

Morgan plays guitar in a band called Detour180. He is a true man of God with a heart for ministry. His passion is reach the lost with the gift that God has given him, music!
Recently Morgan's world has been turned upside down and his passion of playing guitar has been placed on hold with no resolution as to when it will return. In July of this year, Morgan was in a car accident leaving his left arm shattered. After an 8 hour surgery, the doctors were able to placed pins, screws and bolts in his arm in order to repair the damage. He went through a painful recovery which included some emotional stress, but was on his way back to a normal life until this past Friday.
Friday night, someone ran into the side of Morgan causing the screws and bolts to come undone, re breaking his arm in several places. Because of a money issue and because of the extent of the damage, Morgan is now on his way home, back to New Zealand to go through yet another lengthy surgery. He has been dealing with the pain and discomfort for 5 days now and will be on a plane for 17 hours today in order to get home for surgery.
Morgan's time with Detour180 as well as his time here in the US has been cut short, leaving him in a state of uncertainty and sadness.

I am asking for your prayers...prayers for healing, prayers for safety and prayers that God will stand beside him through yet another painful recovery. Prayers for the future...if the music chapter of his life is to be closed, then prayers that God will bless him with new passions and a new way to serve in ministry.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and to pray. It will mean so much to Morgan's heart!

Monday, August 13, 2007

Something I needed to hear...

Give God your Worries
When I kept things to myself, I felt weak deep inside me
Psalm 32:3

Ask yourself two questions:
Is there any unconfessed sin in my life?
Confession is telling God you did the thing he saw you do. He doesn't need to hear it as much as you need to say it. Whether its too small to be mentioned or too big to be forgiven isn't yours to decide. Your task is to be honest...
Are there any unsurrendered worries in my heart? "Give all your worries to him, because he cares about you" (I Peter 5:7)
The German word for worry means "to strangle" The Greek word for worry means "to divide the mind" Both are accurate. Worry is a noose on the neck and a distraction of the mind, neither of which is befitting for joy.

(listening to Hold Fast by Mercy Me)

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Anyway

Some songs just speak...

You can spend your whole life building
Something from nothin'
One storm can come and blow it all away
Build it anyway

You can chase a dream
That seems so out of reach
And you know it might not ever come your way
Dream it anyway

God is great
But sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
I do it anyway

This world's gone crazy
It's hard to believe
That tomorrow will be better than today
Believe it anyway

You can love someone with all your heart
For all the right reasons
In a moment they can choose to walk away
Love 'em anyway

God is great
But sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
Yea - I do it anyway

You can pour your soul out singing
A song you believe in
That tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang
Sing it anyway
Yea, sing it anyway
Yeah, yeah!

I sing
I dream
I love anyway
~Martina McBride

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

I got chills when I heard this...

I want everyone to take a minute and read this...
It will give you chills and remind you how big God is!

Read Auny's blog from today and then go look at her friend Gin's comment.
Auny's Blog

When we pray to God, He listens and He answers!

Monday, August 06, 2007

Family Force 5

I saw the boys this past weekend at Spirit West Coast and they put on a killer show as usual! Thought I would share some pictures with you all...


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If you haven't seen them live, you are missing out!!!

God speaking through Proverbs!

We can make our own plans, but the Lord gives the right answer.
~Proverbs 16:1
We may throw the dice, but the Lord determines how they fall.
~Proverbs 16:33
You can Make many plans, but the Lord's purpose will prevail.
~Proverbs 19:21
The Lord directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way?
~Proverbs 20:24
Every word of God proves true. He is a shield to all who come to Him for protection.
~Proverbs 30:5

I read through Proverbs this weekend and God threw some powerful verses at me. He has a mighty way of doing that! If you look at all these verses, you will see the pattern that God was showing me. My life and my plans are all in His hands. He holds my very being tighty in his grasp and He has big things in store for me, things that I can't even imagine. He directs my steps and He will guide me all the way. How great is that. What a journey that lies ahead!

I'm ready God, bring it on!

Sunday, August 05, 2007

God Knows...

God knows best! That's what I've always been taught to trust...

I have been praying a lot lately for selfish things. Things that in my eyes are important but in the big scheme of things are not. Things that I want instead of things that I need. Sometimes it's almost like a cry for help when what I should be doing is crying out Thank You.
Thank you for the blessings! Thank you for being alive! Thank for the good times that make me laugh, even if in the end they may make me cry! Everything is a teaching tool. Why can't I accept that?

God, I apologize for my selfish, bitter thoughts. I want, what you want for my life! I want to find joy in each day instead of sorrow in one situation. I pray for patience and guidance. Take away the worry and fill it with your unfailing love! I offer you my life...take it and lead it where you will!

That's what I should be praying for!!!

Saturday, August 04, 2007

Traveling

Traveling gets to me sometimes! Airports start to look all the same. Auny and I found a way to relax when we travel...
Take a look:)

Friday, July 27, 2007

Waiting

I sit and I wait. Waiting becomes something that overtakes me. My thoughts. My dreams. The way I process things. But I wonder why? There is no reason why waiting can't be a good thing. I wait for Christmas presents and birthday parties. Those things excite me when I wait in wonder of how it's going to be. Why is waiting for specific things so hard on me. I wait for answers and I wait for clarity. Most of all I wait for love.
A woman waiting for love. Sounds like something that happens everyday...
You're right, it does happen everyday. The wait is more like worry. How do you know when you find it? Will it be like the movies descibe it? Is it the person that has always been right there under your nose? My waiting is worry. It causes a sense of pain and anxiety.
God wants us to wait. Wait on the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. But how long does it take?
How do you get the point where you can step back, relax and know that God is going to send you something worth waiting for?

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Journal time

Never knew it would amount to anything:

Here I am, in a place where my dreams could only lead me. I look at this new land and see everything that my heart has always dreamed of. For years I wanted the change in my life. I had longed to see new places, new faces and be overwhelmed with new experiences. God has granted those wishes and for some reason I lay here in disappointment because my perfect world is missing something. My heart has a missing piece. It's like putting together a puzzle, but losing the main piece that makes it beautiful. That one piece that completes the sky or the stars. You have to know which one I am talking about! God has painted a perfect place and I can't appreciate it. It makes tears swell up in my eyes. It makes my heart hurt and it causes this sick feeling the pit of my stomach. One that could only come from loving something and not having it.
This piece is so magnificent in my eyes. It once made me feel so alive, like I could fly without wings. It enhanced the colors my life. The music in my head became the music in my heart. I knew that God had planned it. He looked at all my hopes and thoughts and placed this perfect piece in my life. Everything about it was what I had prayed for. He had blessed me with everything and for a few moments I was truly happy.
I sit here now looking back and grieving but how could I be so ungrateful. He gave me something so precious that I worshiped it and became lost in it, forgetting why I truly had it. God gave it to me because he knew what would make me happy. He saw the way I felt when the warm breeze blew across my face and how the stars flew from one point to another. He knew that my heart was happy and I never thanked Him. Instead I took my blessing and ran. I ran away from my Maker and made Him second. How could I be so shallow to take my gift and not thank God everyday for it. Instead I took it and sat it on a pedestal. It was mine and nothing else compared.
Now I sit here without that piece to my life and I dwell on not having it when I should dwell on thanking God for having it, if only for a moment. So God I thank you for giving me such a indescribable gift. One that will remain in my heart and in my dreams forever. If I never find that perfect piece again, I know that it is because you will replace my whole puzzle one day with a new picture to put together. And this one I will never place before you!

But maybe it will:)

Friday, July 20, 2007

Summer Love

So I know that I always rave about my niece, but I have every reason to. Just wanted to give everyone a reminder of why I talk about her so much...


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Now you can see why I talk about her so much:)

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Bubbly

I love this song!!

I've been awake for a while now
you've got me feelin like a child now
cause every time i see your bubbly face
I get the tinglies in a silly place

It starts in my toes
makes me crinkle my nose
where ever it goes I always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time
where ever you go

The rain is fallin on my window pane
but we are hidin in a safer place
under the covers stayin safe and warm
you give me feelins that i adore

It starts in my toes
makes me crinkle my nose
where ever it goes
i always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time

where ever you go

What am i gonna say
when you make me feel this way
I just........mmmmmmmmmmm

It starts in my toes
makes me crinkle my nose
where ever it goes
i always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time
where ever you go

I’ve been asleep for a while now
You tucked me in just like a child now
Cause every time you hold me in your arms
I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth

It starts in my soul
And I lose all control
When you kiss my nose
The feelin shows
Cause you make me smile
Baby just take your time
Holdin me tight

Where ever, where ever, where ever you go
Where ever, where ever, where ever you go…
~Colbie Caillat

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Devotion for the day!

This morning I led our devotion for Vertical. It is a time where the whole staff can get together and reflect on what God is doing through our ministry. I decided that we should focus on the youth that we are trying to reach and the excuses we come up with for not doing certain things, like service.

There is a passage in the book "The Purpose Driven Life," that makes me stop and think every time I read it. It's in chapter 29 and it reads:
"If you are not involved in any service or ministry, what excuse have you been using? Abraham was old, Jacob was insecure, Leah was unattractive, Joseph was abused, Moses stuttered, Gideon was poor, Samson was codependent, Rahab was immoral, David had an affair and all kinds of family problems, Elijah was suicidal, Jeremiah was depressed, Jonah was reluctant, Naomi was a widow, John the Baptist was eccentric to say the least, Peter was impulsive and hot-tempted, Martha worried a lot, the Samaritan woman had several failed marriages, Zacchaeus was unpopular, Thomas had doubts, Paul had poor health and Timothy was timid. That is quite a bit of misfits, but God used each of them in His service. He will use you too, if you stop making excuses."

What a powerful statement! God can use everyone in some big ways if we put aside the word can't and realize that He will bless us as we speak His word. We should be teaching our youth that they have an active role in presenting the Gospel. They may not get it right the first time, but you have to start somewhere. Our youth is the future of the church. We should be pouring into them, teaching them about service and ministering!
So what excuse do you have? You shouldn't have any!!!

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Fun times with Kyla

So my friend Kyla came to visit me in Florida and she made my week very special. She was there to laugh and listen. She has this innocent crazy side that I absolutely love and she brings joy to my life whenever I am around her. I am blessed to have her in my life and I look forward to all our crazy moments to come!


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Saturday, July 14, 2007

Sad day

I always tend to have some amazing times during the summer! This summer, I had some of the best. I was given the opportunity to work with some of the most influential people ever. It was not just another camp experience! It was more like a family vacation. I made some new friends, learned some new ways to serve and I got to love on some incredible kids. Watching these youth come to know the Lord, that's what it is all about.
My journey lead me to meet people who have taught me so much about giving back, really reaching out and going that extra mile to share hope and love in Jesus! That's enough to make anyone's summer absolutely perfect!

Friday, July 13, 2007

Meet these two

I want to introduce you to Christopher and Noah!
These two little guys made my last week of camp so special!!!


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Christopher loved to keep me entertained at the merch table and I watched him as he absorb The Gospel throughout the week!

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Little Noah got saved this week and was so proud to tell everyone that he had chosen to follow Christ. That is why I love working with the ministry I work with:)

Thursday, July 12, 2007

bumper boats, nips and red lights

Now we tend to have some amazing times on the road. Tuesday night was considered the night of non stop laughing!
It all strated early in the night when Brock was trying to set up one of his illusions and realized that there was a missing piece! A missing piece that you can get at Lowe's but one that you may not want to say...haha! If you want to know, please ask me because I am shy about writing it on my blog;)

After an awesome night of worship, Kyla, Auny and myself went to ride bumper boats. We got completely soaked and it was incredible. We were acting like 5 year olds and we were unashamed of that fact. The night was so much fun. There was some red lights and extra money but I'll have to explain that to you in person.

So ask me!

p.s. Therron is the coolest :)

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

My new friend

Let me tell you guys about my friend Therron! He is one of a kind, and that is not an exaggeration. He likes to throw tapes balls at my head and he gives me guilt trips about not bringing him Starbucks! I consider myself to be a very giving person so I'm not sure why he torments me! I give him free t-shirts and stickers and he still makes me feel bad

With all that said, he is so much fun! Kind of like the brother I never wanted...haha:)
Nah, he is genuinely great and I am glad we are friends.


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Saturday, July 07, 2007

A place I call home!!

I haven't written in a while because for the past week I haven been spending time at one of my favorite places on Earth, CASWELL!
I got to spend time with some amazing people in an amazing place while having an amazing time. My heart was rejuvenated with joy and laughter. A smile never left my face last week because of the experiences that took place. There was this one experience that made my week special...OK painting a picture:
Me & Jen Jen
Ben Ben, David & Will
A water slide and 21 questions!
Enough said...haha

I can't wait till I get to go back...what a grand day that will be:)

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

The Emerald Coast

I've had so many people ask me about where I am right now and I always tell them "The Emerald Coast." It's a term that can be only described through pictures, so here are some...


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It is absolutely the prettiest beach I have ever seen. All of you should come! NOW:)

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

how can i pray for you?

I was talking to a great friend of mine today and as we started to end our conversation, she asked "how can I pray for you this week?" It triggered a thought inside my head, "why doesn't everyone ask this question when getting off the phone or leaving someone's house, etc.
What a beautiful thought...Everyone really wanting to know what they can pray about. Think of how great you would feel if you knew someone cared enough to pray for you and your specific need. That's a challenge...to everyone!
People always need prayer. Whether it be for joy or for understanding. It could be prayer for sleep. There is always a need and a situation to lift to the Lord.

Will you join me and ask someone "How can I pray for you today?"

Monday, June 25, 2007

Homesick

I think that I am a little homesick today. I keep thinking how great it would be to click my fingers and my parents, brother and puppies would be here. When you're on the road so much, sometimes you feel like you don't have a stable place. It's like you're in between homes.

I am loving every second of every day to the fullest but sometimes when I slow down I begin to think about memories. Times when I used to play in the river with my brother or sliding down water slides with my dad. I think about my mom's voice and how yummy her food is. I try to imagine what I would be doing if I was at home.

Here is what I would have done today... I would have woke up early so I could go down to the golf course and have my dad make me an egg sandwich. I would take the boat out with my brother and my niece on the Chowan River for a couple of hours. Then maybe let my puppies run and play in the pond behind my house. After a long afternoon, I would sit down for dinner with my family and of course, my mom's chicken casserole. That would be a great day!

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Rainbow cake

I had the most amazing cake ever today. It was called rainbow cake. The cake itself was five different colors and five different flavors. It was layered like a rainbow starting with purple(grape), green(watermelon), yellow(lemon), orange(self explanatory) and pink(strawberry). It was topped with a cream icing and I ate every bit possible in one sitting...haha

Just thought you should know! It was fabulous. Check it out...


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Friday, June 22, 2007

Money on the walls

We ate at this crazy Irish pub called McGuire's! It's in Fort Walton Beach, Florida and it was such a good experience. Good food, good service and some amazing decorations. This restaurant has more than 550, 000 dollars on the ceiling and walls.
It all started when Molly McGuire opened the restaurant. She was a bartender at the time and she taped a dollar bill on the wall for good luck. A couple of her regular customers told her they would place a dollar on the wall as well for luck and if her restaurant ever went out of business they would come back to claim it.
Well, it never went out of business and today it is one of the top restaurant's in Fort Walton with money all over the ceiling. It's tradition now to place a dollar on the ceiling or wall for good luck!

Amazing:)

Here are some pictures from McGuire's!! Enjoy


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Thursday, June 14, 2007

I'm going to Disney World!!

Last night during Brock's performance...he stopped and began to thank Auny, Jessica and myself by telling us we had been doing a great job. He introduced us to the whole camp in the middle of the service( it was awkward because everything kind of stopped and the attention shifted from Brock to us). He then began to tell us that since we had done such a good job this week...Are you ready for this...he was going to take us to Disney World!

Well he wasn't kidding!!!

So, Saturday I'M GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!

Roller coasters here I come:)

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

There are three types

Here is a story that put things in perspective for me!

I'll paint the picture...
A few years ago, Brock and Auny were on the beach in Pensacola, FL. They were sitting in the sand, around sunset. There weren't many people on the beach at that time. A few here and there and then these two people that were in the water. Auny was watching the people and after a few moments she felt like they were yelling for HELP.
A man walked by, stopped, looked at the people in the water, looked at Brock and Auny then turned and walked off. He avoided the call out for help.
Brock realized the people were yelling, but he couldn't really understand why because they were in chest high water and it looked like the were fine. Brock ran out to them and when he got there both people went limp. The girl was already in the first stage of drowning. He scooped them up still trying to figure out what was going on. When he turned, he figured it out real quick...They were in a rip current!
For those not familiar with rip currents, it's a wall water going outward, away from the shore. The pressure is extremely high and it's almost impossible to stay above water. Brock yelled for Auny to go get help! As she ran to find someone, he realized he had to do something because the two people he had were struggling and they were pulling him under with them.
He planted one foot after the other and after what seemed like a half an hour on struggle, he had pushed his way to the shore carrying the two individuals with him. All three fell to the sand exhausted!
It is a story of heroism but it always describes three types of people in this world.

  • The people who are drowning in sin! Crying out for help.
  • The people who walk by and do nothing!(the man on the beach)
  • The people who do something about it...who get involved and try to help!

Which one are you? Are you doing something about it?

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

The ministry is in your hands

The sermon tonight was incredible! It was one of those messages that every teenager and young adult should hear. It was called "putting the ministry in your hands." It comes from the scripture Acts 1:8... I could never do it justice but here are a few key points from the night:

  • If you are bored in church, you're doing it wrong! Church is what you make it. If you are bored...do something about it!
  • If you are 15 years old, you are old enough to be a leader. We trust young men and women in the military with thousands of dollars worth of equipment, heavy machinery and extremely dangerous weapons but we won't trust them to lead a Bible study! Why is that?
  • A building is not the church, we are the Church! Our body is the house of the Lord. We are his temple!
  • Quit going to church and start being the church!
  • Start to think about your school or college as your youth group. Instead of the small 20-30 of you, start to branch out and begin to share with all the people around you, not just who you go to church with.
  • Mentor those who are younger than you! Start a cycle...learn from the elders in your church and the older youth in your group so that you can teach the people younger then you how to be great Christians.
I could go on and on! It was one of those messages where I was absorbing every second. I have heard this message several times now, but the impact that it makes, still gives me chills every time I hear it!
God is good:)

Monday, June 11, 2007

Sounds like something I wrote before

I heard this new artist and one of his songs reminded me of a poem I wrote a couple of months ago...it's crazy how people think alike! I wanted to share it with you. It's called:

"Puzzle Pieces"


trying to make sense of this puzzle
but feeling like the pieces are scattered all around this room
climbing the fence of my trouble
falling down once again to try and get there soon
oh but could I stand and wait for You
instead of running from this black to find my blue
oh and when will I just listen to the truth
that the pieces of this puzzle just don't fit without You
trying to make sense but nothing doing
as I scramble on my knees to let some light shine through
over this fence, aah but peeking back through it
just to see if I left anything that I could do without You
though my vision lags behind
I have found that I can find
my completeness only in You, in You

Do you know who sings it?

Saturday, June 09, 2007

A new way to greet

Today we picked up Jessica(Brock's intern) from the airport! Brock always gets crazy ideas...everyone should know that by now. He came up with a brilliant way to greet Jessica after her flight from Houston, TX. Here let me show you:


I thought it was pretty creative! What do you think?

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

More food than I can imagine

Last night I had the biggest feast ever! We went to this restaurant called Old Bay Steamer near Fort Walton Beach. It was absolutely amazing! They bring out this huge bowl full of crab legs, shrimp, potatoes and corn. I was shocked by the size and by how amazing it was. It has moved to the top of my list of favorite places to eat!
You can only understand by seeing it...seeing is believing!!!

This was before!!


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And this was after...Let's just say "IT WAS GOOD!"

Monday, June 04, 2007

Here I'll show you...

I wanted all of you to see just a few memories so far! It's so pretty down here...


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These are just a few from the first day! There will be plenty more to come so keep checking

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Here I go!

So I flew to Florida today to begin my new way of looking at work! I am not to fond of flying, especially when the plane looks like a prop plane! It's safe to say flying was not my favorite part of the day.

I arrived a little after lunch and my friend Kyla picked me up and took me straight to the beach where everyone was. It was absolutely beautiful...white sand, crystal clear water and warm sun! I think I'm going to really enjoy this working at the beach thing:)

We are going to be working with three different camps this summer... Big Stuf, Superwow and LIFT! I am so excited to see how different these camps are from the camp I've always had a part in.
Here I go!!!!