A milestone marking a goodbye

It's amazing what you can learn in five years! It's just as amazing how fast five years can fly by!

When I started my blog in October of 2006, I had no idea the impact it would make in some people's lives... I also had no idea the impact it would make on me as I looked back over my years of growth, adventure, heart break, new beginnings, transitions and much, much more. You see, I started this blog mainly so my family could keep up with my life while I lived in Nashville. Being 12 hours away from home was something completely new for me and I thought my parents would enjoy seeing & reading my life instead of getting a few 15 minute phone calls here and there. It was a way for me to share pictures, stories and life without racking up an insanely high phone bill each month. Well, it was a success :)

I've been reading back over the stories and the moments, and it's been so crazy to see this timeline unfold in words and pictures. Like, how on December 24, 2006 I talk about the stars... how bright the sky is at my parent's and I can really remember that night and that feeling. It's like the happiness jumps right off the screen.

And then there was May 2009, when Brock and Auny took me on a cruise to Coco Cay, Bahamas! The pictures from that post are unbelievable. The whole trip was amazing and I honestly can't think of a better way to spend the first week of May :)

I could seriously bring up several posts and memories from the past five years, but I'm not because that's why I have blog that shows them to me (and you) within a few clicks!

Now, you're probably wondering 'what is the point of this blog post' and I promise I'm getting to it. See, I love looking back and reading the stories. It's awesome to see the changes, good and bad, that have occurred in my life. I've enjoyed all the comments and sweets encouragement that my followers have posted over the years... It's made blogging worth it. But, there comes a time for change and this is one of those times.

For the ones that have kept up with my blog all these years, you know that my posts have become sparse and I haven't had (made) the time to write the way I used to. It's been difficult to write... I mean, it's been difficult to keep up with life, haha. So, my next sentence is one that I've thought long and hard about and it just needs to happen at this time in my life...

All good things must come to an end, so my dear friends, I am ending my Chasing Paper Stars blog.

Now, I'm not doing this because it's bad or I hate writing or I don't have anything to say... I have plenty to say. I so many things swirling around in my head that could be awesome in a blog post, but I just need to step away from blogging for while. I'm not sure how long, but I can tell you that when (or if) I decide to blog again, my blog will have a new name and a new purpose :) It's sad and exciting all at the same time!!

So friends, thanks for all the love and support over these past five years! And don't worry, just because the blog's gone doesn't mean that I'm gonna quit chasing paper stars!

Two whole years

Can you believe that?! Guess you need to know what I'm talking about first, huh? Well, I'm referring to my relationship with Mr. Kevin Walters. Today marks two years that we've been together and what a perfectly, challenging roller coaster that I don't ever want to get off of :)

If there is anything I have learned in my 29 years, it's that relationships take work, compromise and dedication. I do feel that love and romance are a huge part, but at the end of the day a relationship is a loving dedication that will always be a work in progress.

Two years is a long time. It's ample amount of time to realize things that you love and things that drive you crazy about your boyfriend/girlfriend. But I don't believe it's enough time to have figured any one person out ... considering our minds are always changing, our knowledge is always growing and our surroundings are always challenging us to try new things and experiences. If I look back to the person I was in 2009 when Kevin and I met, I can honestly say I am one different girl today. And it could be in the small things... like I now love Root Beer. In 2009 I had never even tried it. Or it could be in the big things... like I now want something more for my life. I have some career goals and some personal goals that weren't in my mind in 2009. It's like a gradual change over time.

What I'm getting at is that our relationship looks a lot different than it did in September of 2009. It has matured and grown and I love how when continue to learn from one another and we continue to grow, not only as a couple but individually. It's fun to see the new ideas we have and the goals that we yearn to achieve.

Now, want to see what we did for our two year mark?! I thought you would :)

Day 30 - A Picture that Describes You Perfectly

This is pretty much me! I don't have much to give, but I will give you my heart and my love!

Thanks for reading along with my 30 day challenge! I hope that you wer inspired or at least entertained by learning more about me and my life :)

Day 29 - A Picture that Can Always Make You Smile

This picture can make me smile even on the worst days!

When my best friend's little boy, Luke was like 6 months old, Kevin and I went to visit. Luke took a liking to Kevin immediately and he was loving time getting to play with this new guy in his life. Luke had a fascination with Kevin's nose (as you can see) and I thought it was the cutest thing ever :)

This picture brings a giggle to me every time I look at it. LOVE IT!

Day 28 - A Picture of Something That Always Makes Your Day

The Caswell sunset, which I'm looking at right now :)

It always makes my day... just wish I could see it more often these days!

Day 27 - A Picture of Yourself and a Family Member

This is me and my little (bigger) brother at the Boston Red Sox vs. Atlanta Braves game in 2009. It was a great game but definitely one of the hottest baseball games I've ever been to.

Day 26 - A Picture of Something that Means a lot to You

So I'm realizing that I don't take enough pictures to be able to post on my blog the expectations of this Challenge :(

I don't have a picture of the something that means a lot to me so I'll just describe it to you...

In the summer of 2002, I started working at Camp Caswell. Greatest Summer Ever! Anyway, I have a lunch bag with the theme from that summer ('That New Thing'). Now I know what your thinking... Really? A lunch bag? Let me explain... In that lunch bag there is about 1000 pictures from that summer. Pictures of people who are still my best friends today, 9 years later. I love to look through that lunch bag and remember that summer. The super early mornings and the extremely late evenings. Cleaning Oceana and finding surprises every Sunday that made us laugh and laugh and laugh. Running the putt putt course for hours and hours in the 100 degree gym. Listening the Amy Salley give us instructions over the radio. The Mountain Dew... Oh the Mountain Dew. The talks. The tears. The Worship. Vespers. Hatch. Oh my, I could type for hours.

Yep, that lunch bag is special to me! Extremely special :)

Day 25 - A Picture of Your Day

This is a picture of my day :)

I am at the beach with my family and my niece, Summer found/rescued a snail. She has placed it in a cup with glass, dirt, a rock and a sprinkle of water... everything a snail would need to make it in the cup world, haha.

It's such a relaxing day! I could get used to this!

Day 24 - A Picture of Something You Wish You Could Change

I wish I could make cupcakes healthy :)

I could seriously eat one a day... but since they're fattening I don't.

I wish I could change that!

Day 23 - A Picture of Your Favorite Book

Okay, don't laugh but my favorite book is...

...yes and I'm not kidding. Not even a little bit!

Day 22 - A Picture of something You Wish You were better at

Yep! I want to be a better runner... and I'm getting there. Slowly but surely :)

Practice makes perfect right?

Day 21 - A Picture of something You Wish You could Forget

This blog post would never go over well if I actually posted a picture of something I wish I could forget. I think it would be totally foolish of me to throw out something like that... to air my baggage for all the world to see. Not smart! Some things should just remain in my head... Not on a computer screen! But I will talk about something I wish I could forget... Something web appropriate.

You see, when I was younger, I wasn't exactly the perfect sister. I am 3 years older than my brother and I was that sister that really hated that my younger brother wanted to hang out with me. Kind of like the' too cool for school' mentality. Anyway, I was so mean to my brother. He was heavier when we were kids and I definitely used that to my advantage. When I would get upset, I would call him names and most of those names dealt with his weight. Ugh, I am terrible sister. I know I hurt his feelings and I feel bad about it now. As I look back, I was so hurtful to him when all he wanted was to be around me and be accepted.

Later, when I went off to college, my brother told me that he had always looked up to me and wanted to be just like me (minus the being a girl part). Can you believe that? Me, someone who said such awful things!

Anyway I wish I could forget all of that...but better yet, I wish I had never said those hurtful things! I know you can't change the past but I do know that the past has definitely affected my future. I'm not perfect but I can say that I have become a much better, more encouraging sister.

Day 20 - A Picture of somewhere You'd Love to Travel

I mean seriously, How gorgeous is that picture?!

That is New Zealand and it's on the top of my 'Must Travel To' list! If everything goes as planned, I'll be heading there next year :)

Day 19 - A Picture of a habit that you wish you didn't have

This is slightly embarrassing but, I really wish I didn't cry every time I got upset or was angry! I mean some people don't really think of crying as a habit but, when you do it as often as I do, it is! I am so freakin emotional and it drives me crazy!

Have you ever stood in front of a mirror and had a 'pretend' argument with yourself? Basically your reflection being the person you are wanting to confront or you're wanting yell at, as loud as your little voice box can yell. I have these often because 1. I am terrible a confrontation (as I mentioned in my last blog) and 2. I don't cry when I when I do this. Granted, I'm not dealing with the issue because I'm arguing with myself but I do feel better afterwards (how pathetic is that?)

Anyway, I really wish I was a little stronger sometimes! Like, I'm not trying to sound like a victim (even though I know that' what I sound like) but, I would love to be able to tell people my mind without having remorse or having a feeling in the pit of my stomach that I hurt their feelings. Ugh, what an awful cycle! I need help... or a counselor... or someone to teach me how to be strong or to throw punches or something!

Any takers?

Day 18 - A Picture of You're Least Favorite Trait

This gets me in trouble a lot cause I don't express my feelings well and I tend to hold things in until I explode with a cause of verbal diarrhea. Not a good thing!

Day 17 - A Picture of something that has made a huge Impact on Your Life recently

Well it's not a something... it's a someone!

This adorable young girl is my niece, Summer. She is the huge impact even though she's quite little :)

To give you a little back story, Summer was born when my brother was 16 years old. I was in my first year at ECU when I heard the news. She was a surprise that has turned my world upside down. I've watched her grow up into this little woman... this little person with big dreams and a big love for every one. Despite some circumstances that I will not go in to, this little girl is super tough and has made a huge impact on my life!

She's a sassy little 9 year old now, who for some reason, has her own cell phone and texts me occasional messages like 'I love Aunt Shannon.' Melts my heart! I mean, a cell phone at 9 isn't something I totally agree with but at least she uses it well, ha :)

I tear up when I see pictures of her cause I'm not there to help teach her things like how to throw a softball or how to braid hair. I know that sounds a little motherly but I want to teach her everything! I want her to love life and know that she is beautiful and so very much loved! She's my munchkin!

Day 16 - A Picture of someone who Inspires You

I need to think on this one for a day or two cause I want it be more than a photo.

To be continued...

Day 15 - A Picture of something You want to do before You Die

Again so many things... I even have my own Bucket List. It's called a Day Zero Project but it's the same concept!

Okay, something I want to do before I die... hmmmm... I guess it would be this...

<-----That picture to the left is a representation of me wanting to visit all 50 states!

Duh!

I don't think that's too hard of a goal! I mean I have a few years (hopefully) and I think visiting every state would be so awesome.

I'd like to go snowboarding in Colorado and fishing in Oregon. I'd love to lay on the beach in California and walk along the rocky coast of Maine. I love trying new foods too so I'd have to try some food that each state (or it's cities) is known for! Hmmmm... Boston Chowder and Texas BBQ (even though I'm kind of a BBQ snob). Philly Cheesesteak for Philly and ... well what's Nevada known for? I'll have to figure that out.

That's what I would do... or better yet, that's what I'm going to do :)

Want to come with me??

Day 14 - A Picture of Someone You could never Imagine Your Life without

WOW... These just keep getting harder and harder!

It's really hard for me to narrow down ONE person that I couldn't imagine my life without. There are so many that would fall into that category... like my Dad, Mom, Brother, Niece, Grandmother... you get the gist. I could never imagine my life without my family. I guess aside from them, and for the purposes of this blog, the person I am going to choose to write about is... ... Kristen Heffelfinger (soon to be Mrs. Kristen Wilson).

I simply adore her! She is one of the most encouraging people I know. Definitely someone to call on a gloomy day.

Kristen and I met in 2006 while I was interning at Caswell. She was friends with my roommate and I was friends with her boyfriend. We became friends instantly after meeting... It was like that love at first sight thing expect more like friends at first conversation (if that even makes sense ha). We talked about everything... specific situations we were going through, boyfriends we had lost and were getting over and just life. What's so great about our friendship is that Kristen, who is about 5 years younger than me, and I have learned over the past few years is that we tend to go through the stuff, just at different times. Our life experiences are so similar, it's a little scary.

I was somewhat of a mentor to Kristen in the beginning of getting to know one another, but lately she has been a mentor to me. She teaches me SO much and she never let's me look at the darker side of things. She always has a bright side for every situation :) She is so wise and she has helped through some tough things. Can we say LOTS of late night conversations!

I don't see Kristen as much as I would like but we have a very strong bond nonetheless... one that we continue to build over Skype and the occasional phone call. She is one of my very best friends and I can honestly say, 'I could never imagine my life without her!'

Day 13 - A Picture of someone You Miss

I miss my puppy, Cambi...

She's been at home in North Carolina with my awesome parents for over a year now and I think it's been long enough. It's time for my sweet little country puppy to come back to the city!

I know technically that's not a someone but she is the one I miss!